Note the change- this is now a 2-part course.
Accept the Gift of Self-Love
The definition of acceptance is the act of taking or receiving something offered. Usually, it is something you favor or approve of. Acceptance is recognizing and assenting while being willing to adapt to change.
Once you recognize that self-love is a good thing, you can approve of it and begin the process of adapting to that change of thought. Self-love is not about coercing or making you feel guilty if you don’t accept it; it’s about helping you see the beauty within yourself.
In time you’ll realize that self-love is a gift. A gift that you give to yourself every single day for the rest of your life. It will sustain you through all of life’s ups and downs. Of course, self-love won’t prevent trials and tribulations from occurring, but it will give you the perspective you need to get through them.
Steps to Acceptance
Always remember that self-love is both a feeling and an action - you embody self-love and you exhibit self-love. There are steps you can go through on the path to acceptance. You don’t have to do these steps in consecutive order for them to be effective. Start where it feels right for you.
Self-love is a process:
Nothing good comes easily, though all of us possess self-love as infants, and then life happens and we turn away from self-love in shame, fear, or confusion for whatever reason. It takes time to accept that self-love is what we need to thrive and be healthy and whole.
Acknowledge how you feel:
This may be too much to accept at this time, and that is perfectly okay. Everyone is walking their own path, and what works for others may not work for you. Finding your own way is what’s best. Give your feelings attention and the space to process ALL of your feelings, the good and the bad. There’s a reason they exist, delve deep to figure it out. Otherwise, acceptance of self-love may not be possible.
Practice, practice, practice:
Choose how you speak to yourself about yourself. Sure, you may feel like the dumbest person but you don’t need to reinforce it internally. Instead, practice speaking kindly to your negative thoughts. When you hear yourself say you are dumb, don’t continue down the same old path by agreeing. Focus on your positive aspects and give yourself compassion when you need it most.
Adjust your perspective:
Reframe what you have been doing in the past, especially if it hasn’t been working. A change in perspective allows you to modify how you view it, which can change how you feel about it. Stay open to possibilities for they allow you to grow into a better version of yourself.
Don’t give power to your inner critic:
We touched on this above, but it’s an important one. What you choose to focus on will become your reality. Thus, when you give attention to your inner critic, you’re feeding the beast and granting it more power. That obnoxious critic becomes more unpleasant and louder, making it difficult to ignore. Give your attention to the voice of encouragement, the thought that nourishes your spirit.
Focus on the positive, and learn from the negative:
Those negative thoughts have meaning, they are trying to tell you something. It’s the deciphering that is difficult and it’s easy to become distracted. Yes, take time to work on your fears and doubts but don’t let them obscure everything in your life. Allow the light to intermingle with the shadows.
You were born to be real, not perfect.
Remember the Why
Self-love is vital to your well-being. When you don’t truly love yourself, you have no desire to care for your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. In the first lesson, I asked if your well-being was front and center. Did you have an answer to that? Do you nourish all aspects of yourself?
As you begin to love all aspects of yourself, it will be easier to overcome hardships and obstacles. This is because your confidence increases and your positive outlook makes it easier to deal with adversity.
Also, loving yourself allows you to accept others (flaws and all) and you are more compassionate towards them as well. You understand, you’ve been there and you know how difficult it is to be a human in this day and age.
Self-love is having a deep appreciation for who you really are.
How to Accept the gift of self-love:
Make a list of everything you love about yourself – no matter how big or small
Your self-talk should always be positive
Practice gratitude at all times – embody gratitude, radiate gratitude
Complement yourself every once in a while
Nourish your body, mind, and soul
Learn how to be mindful in everything that you do
Overcoming Roadblocks:
Accept where you are at this moment. Do not compare yourself to others, this is your journey.
Allow family and friends to provide encouragement or to listen to your concerns.
That inner critic who loves to show up? Don’t listen to it.
Shadow work will help immensely – and shadow work is a process that takes time.
Learn to forgive yourself.
Remember that self-compassion is your friend.
Embrace every aspect of you - flaws & all
Reasons It’s Difficult to Love Ourselves
Social conditioning: it’s what you’ve been told by everyone you know since you were little. You may have heard that it is selfish to love yourself and put your well-being first. Most people don’t realize that the people who love themselves are actually the ones who love others the most.
Also, it may have been or is the norm in your world. Maybe it isn’t unusual to hear someone put themselves down and so you don’t think twice about it when you do it to yourself.
Experiences: What you’ve experienced throughout your life determines how you feel about yourself. This could include any type of trauma, unhealthy relationships, and other experiences that brought you down. You learned to believe that what others say is more important than how you feel and that your self-worth and love are tied to how others perceive you. In the end, we accept the love we think we deserve.
A strong foundation will provide support to becoming holistically well. As you work on these aspects we discussed, you begin to build a foundation that will assist you as you grow into the person you were meant to be. Give yourself permission to accept what was, what is happening now, and what will be. You deserve this.
Accept yourself.
You are worthy without the approval and acceptance from others.
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