Note the change- this is only a 2-part course
What is self-love?
If you look up the term self-love you’ll find a number of negative definitions ranging from conceited to egotistical. When in fact, self-love is not selfish, it simply means that you value and respect yourself for who you are. The positive and the not-so-positive aspects. You love yourself despite the imperfections.
Other common misconceptions:
1) Only women need to work on self-love.
There are plenty of men who do not love themselves either. Most of them are just better at hiding it. However, you will see signs if you know what to look for.
2) Confident people already embody self-love.
Sure, self-confidence and self-love can go hand in hand. However, you can be confident in some aspects and still not truly love and accept yourself.
3) Self-love is loving yourself, but with conditions.
You can still love yourself even with your weaknesses waving in the wind, without fear of any repercussions. Don’t wait until you are perfect, because perfect is an illusion. Besides, perfect is boring.
4) You rely on yourself, no one else.
Raise your hand if you can be independent and stubborn in certain instances. We all do this occasionally, but in this case, you deny help from others because you are ashamed or even fearful of what they might think. It’s time to stop feeling inadequate and give those who want to help, a chance to do so.
This is Self-Love:
Self-love is taking care of your own needs and putting your well-being first. This includes your WHOLE self – body, mind, and spirit. Self-love is both a feeling and an action. You embody self-love and you exhibit self-love.
There are many ways to embody self-love, here are a few examples:
You accept every aspect of yourself - flaws and all.
Honestly, the world is a better place because we are all different. Embrace your so-called flaws (who even said they are flaws anyway??). Accept your quirks and qualities, then celebrate who you are inside and out.
Self-love and self-compassion go hand in hand.
Exhibiting self-love is holding compassion for yourself. We all make mistakes; we all fall at one time or another. We make bad choices. Freely give yourself compassion, you’re only human after all.
You treat yourself just as kind as you treat others.
Most of us try to be kind to others. But are you kind to yourself? Putting yourself down with your thoughts and words disheartens the soul and spirit. Choose encouraging words and notice the difference in how you feel.
Caring for yourself is an act of self-love.
One of the best ways to show yourself some love is to take care of yourself. You know the drill – nourish your body, mind, and spirit. Again, perfection isn’t required, but if you follow the 80/20 rule your older self will thank you. Be a stickler for wellness 80% of the time and splurge sporadically. Once you start incorporating wellness routines such as diet, exercise, & stress reduction, your self-love will increase tenfold.
You don’t please others to your detriment.
The world needs more nice people, but don’t be so nice that it takes away your power. When you allow people to take advantage of your kindness, you are pleasing them to your detriment. It’s not about being selfish, it’s about respecting your wants and needs in conjunction with others. Don’t lose yourself while caring for others, find a balance because your well-being matters too.
Once self-love comes into your life it will increase all the other “selves.”
self-compassion
self-worth
self-acceptance
self-esteem
self-confidence
The Importance of Self-Love
Self-love is vital to your well-being. When you don’t truly love yourself, there is no desire to care for your physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects. Think about why you choose to do what you do, is your well-being front and center?
Most likely it isn’t, because we always find excuses as to why we shouldn’t eat well, exercise, and all the good choices that nourish and sustain us. You may feel triggered by this and that is ok, it’s not meant to make you feel guilty, it’s to bring awareness.
You deserve to give yourself respect and compassion. No one has all their shit together 100% of the time! It may appear that way, but every single person struggles and we only see what others choose to display to the world.
When you begin to truly love yourself, it WILL be easier to do the things that assist with holistic living. When it comes down to it, we all want to feel good and have the energy and vitality to enjoy life.
Self-love is connecting with your inner self. When you are in tune with your inner being/intuition, it assists you in becoming holistically well.
Questions to reflect upon:
Do you appreciate your accomplishments? Or do you downsize them?
Is most of your self-talk positive or negative?
Are you sensitive to criticism?
Does a compliment make you uncomfortable?
Do you get caught in the comparison trap?
Can you make a decision and not have second thoughts?
Can you ask for help when you need it?
If you answered yes to most of the questions, you probably have some form of issue with self-love. Of course, there are different degrees and stages, but this gives you a starting point and brings awareness to areas you may need to improve upon.
Know that you are not alone! There will be days you are rockin’ it, and then other days it feels like you can’t get a win. That’s normal and this is where the compassion component comes in, give yourself a break and don’t beat yourself up for mistakes. Learn from it and move on.
Radical change requires a new way of thinking. And it’s radical because if most people loved themselves, we wouldn’t be seeing the high rates of obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and all the other illnesses that are prevalent nowadays (**full disclaimer, this is my opinion but I believe it to be one of the major contributing factors).
Fear Will Not Continue to Win
Life is a process of learning to accept our shadow self (the unresolved aspects) and then deciding those shadows will no longer be in control. Once we are consciously aware of our shadows we can learn to accept them and finally move forward.
Thus, the first step to becoming healthy and whole is self-love.
Is this going to fix all of your problems? Of course not, that’s silly and unhealthy to believe. But it IS part of the journey towards healing and wholeness. This process takes time and effort but is completely worth it in the end.
Are you in?
I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have. -Abraham Lincoln
Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, nor am I claiming to be. This information comes from my own experiences and insights. It is my way of sharing what I have learned, so I can help others reach their full potential and live a life of wellness.
Share this post